Dear Burton,

I'm sorry that you were voted off the island.  I'm sorry that I wasn't there to comfort  you.  To tell you I care.  To put duct tape over your mouth. 

Now dear, don't be upset.  I still love you, but as I've mentioned before, you're so much more appealing when you're not talking.  Your job is to merely look good. And win challenges, of course, especially when a million dollars is riding on it. 

I'm sorry that you didn't have many fans this season.  Many people turned against you this season, but there were a small handful of us who never lost our faith, our hope, our lust in you. I'll never look at a stingray the same way again.

Fare thee well Burton Roberts, my favorite reality TV eye-candy ever.  The tribe has spoken.

Tojours,

Moi